life after sakuracon

So I've returned home after a very exhausting weekend in Seattle at Sakuracon. It was a weekend filled my many events, many memories, many joys, and unfortunately some frustrations. First off, I did not oversell myself on the High and Mighty Color concert. It was everything I expected it to be and more. I thoroughly enjoyed it except the fact that it is really hard to head bang and rock out while recording the concert. I'm also very happy that I acquired their new cd and have a poster with all band members' autographs. I also managed to get them to sign my old cd. The rest of the con was filled with friends, random people, and lots of photos. Reuniting with old friends is a great feeling.

I returned home to a roommate who was once again allowed to consume alcohol seeing that lent was over and thus began an even longer week. I have consumed alcohol for a week and a half straight. And no, not in moderation. It has been atleast a bottle of something per day. I'm not speaking bottle of beer, I mean wine or liquor. And while being fun and ending with a great party this Saturday, I am more exhausted than when I got home from Seattle. I am looking forward to this week being relaxing even though this weekend is my roommate's 22nd birthday. Sadly I will not be able to go to Seattle with her to enjoy her bday festivities due to my work schedule.

In other aspects of life, I enjoyed a nice leisurely walk from my apartment to Barnes & Noble in the rain today. Although it could have been raining harder, the fact that it was raining helped me to clear my head. I truly do miss my long walks in the rain while living in Japan. I find it to be refreshing. I think this week will be filled with lots of walks. I need the time away from home, away from people, away from me. I've been doing a lot of thinking again, regardless of the ridiculous amounts of alcohol drinking. I've realized that I've been avoiding my friends, they've just been irritating me with the smallest things. Don't know why. Hopefully in a week or so I will be back to my calm self and hang out with my friends again.

The other subject that my mind has been wandering off to is the ever lasting search for "the one." I'm almost certain that "the one" doesn't exist. Is it that I don't want to meet some wonderful girl and fall in love? No, it's just that that is not at the top of my priority list. I'm not turning down dates, just not actively searching. Yes, I still ask girls out on dates, but strictly for the purpose of becoming friends. My hopeless romantic side has gone dormant. It has faded from years of being under appreciated and a few months of inactivity. But life is full of surprises. Maybe the girl that will open me back up is right around the corner, who knows.

Overall, I'm happy, but still feel that I need a change of pace and to move to the city. I have grown tired of Bellingham and it has nothing to offer me. I still hope that I will be able to transfer to Seattle and live the city life once again. The environment itself will help me steer back onto the track of being self-motivated and being a go-getter. I will reach those new heights and reach my ultimate goal of surpassing my father.

Transitions and Excitement

A lot of changes have occurred in my life over the past month. Than main changes are that I now work in a bank and that I no longer live alone. Although I will really miss the freedom of a 1bd apt, but I will enjoy having lower bills and more money in my bank account. More money to invest in myself, more money for food, and more money for dates ;)

So far I am thoroughly enjoying the changes. I am having a lot of fun at work. Yes working in a bank can be fun. Having a boss that appreciates you is a rarity that I will cherish. And as for the living situation, it is nice to have someone to interact with at home. I do believe that my roommate feels the same way since the 3rd roomie is never home or rarely leaves his room when home.

While these two transitions seem to have brought joy back into my life, most of my excitement is directed towards next weekend. I am anxious to spend another weekend in Seattle. As I've stated before, it is the annual anime convention where nerds, like myself, gather around to enjoy nerdy events. I can not wait for the live band concert and to reconnect with old friends. Most of the friends are actually not associated with this event, but live in the area. Old HS friends, college friends, and friends from other random places. My focus is to make new friends and deepen the friendships I already have. The one things I will need to improve upon is clearly stating to people of the opposite sex that I am only looking for friends. I am just an overly friendly/flirty guy. I do not possess ulterior motives. I am a straight shooter. No hidden messages. Now to apply those words to real life. Wish me luck on my adventures and endeavors.

Reflecting

As my first real week of work comes to an end, I'm taking time to reflect upon the decisions I've made. Have I found the answers to my ever-nagging question of who I am? No. Do I want to find the answer? I'm not too sure.

So far, I am thoroughly enjoying my new job as a bank teller. I'm satisfied with my work, yet I feel something is missing. Is it my ever growing desire to further myself and reach new heights or is it simply the fact that I no longer wish to reside in Bellingham? As of now I believe it to be the latter. I miss living in a city. The bright lights, soaring skyscrapers, the busy streets, and traffic.

Is it possible that after nearly 8 years, I have become home sick? Nothing would please me more than to re-experience the lifestyle of being in Tokyo. The city is where I belong.

I am striving to exceed the expectations of a new teller in order to receive more hours, but more so of recognition. With my relentless will to be the best and excel, I hope to open more doors of opportunity for my goal is to be a full-time employee working at a branch in Seattle. That would be the first in steering towards my ultimate career goal that has yet to begin. While banking seems to be a stable and lucrative career, my heart lies with language. To be able to put my degree to use would be an accomplishment long overdue.

For now, I will enjoy life to the fullest. So many events to look forward to in the near future. A free digital camera, another weekend in Seattle with a concert including one of my favorite Japanese Bands, High and Mighty Color, and cheaper rent. I am determined to make 2010 my year and own my moments within the spotlight.

Life Anew

I have finally succumbed to the life of blogging. I no longer feel I can retain all of my emotions, thoughts, feelings, and what-have-its bottled up inside of me. I have decided, although a bit late, to start sharing my adventures of 2010 with the web and anyone who cares to probe at what goes on in my head.

I'll start with saying that I recently got a new job at Chase bank after being unemployed for 3 months. Although those times were relaxing, it was also stressful to not have an income and it is very comforting to be back at work. I finished my last week of training last week in Seattle, WA. It was a very enjoyable 3 days of training and my stay in Seattle has brought upon other adventures. My adventures start with my sheer boredom after training and not knowing what to do for my first night all alone in Seattle. I decided upon going to Gameworks where I tend to find the most comfort, seeing that I grew up in Japan and it is the closest thing in WA that comes to an arcade. I can't seem to help my flirty nature anymore for I flirted a girl that worked at the counter while she offered me good customer service.

After a few hours of gaming and being tired from being up since 6 am, I decided it was time for me to retire back to my company paid hotel room. But before leaving, I tried something that was out of the norm for me. I impulsively asked the girl out on a date. She agreed to meet me the next day for dinner, which brings my Tuesday to a close. Wednesday evening, I met her at Starbucks and we went to dinner followed by a movie. We spent a decent amount of time together, including having a couple of beers back at my room and sharing music. The night came to a close with me walking her home. I felt satisfied with this date, but maybe that's just me.

I receive a text message a couple of days later from this girl stating that she does not want to date me and thought it was just a friendly meeting. I have never expressed wanting to date her. Is it wrong for a guy to want to meet people for the purpose of making new friends and then just seeing where things go in the future? Why must a guy always have ulterior motives? Was I supposed to just sleep with this girl and never call her again? Is that all she wanted? So many questions in which I can not find the answers to and am afraid I will never find the answers to. Should I stop being the nice guy and become like all of the other guys out there who are truly looking for just one night stands? Only time will tell what I should do with myself. As of now, I am going to concentrate on my career.

Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog entry. Hopefully my thoughts will be more consolidated for future entries. As for now, I'm a little lost in my personal life. Things will look up though. I'll think positive and there's no way that 2010 will be worse that 2009.